another broken piece inside my heart
another one to fix with no known cure
the boy in me is not anymore sure
that I still want to tear myself apart
each month a bit of pain with blues
each week a new disturbing thought
I first believed happiness I had bought
instead I got myself another excuse
slowly I drowned into an abysmal vice
slowly forgetting how life was before
I cannot help myself from wanting more
although I know one day I’ll pay the price
it seems to me that day is nearing fast
I’m forced to face my demons in the end
I wish I had more time to find a friend
to deter me from bad habits of the past
it’s easy to swear you’ll quit smoking
while your thoughts are sliding away
yet once you wake up near the ashtray
you grab what’s left in regret soaking
6th January 2020