My heart skipped a beat the moment I stepped up.
I fell into a hole and the sky lit up.
I’ve been dragged; up or down, I don’t even know:
I couldn’t tell either if it was fast or slow.
I stepped onto a river, black water flowing,
A man on a boat with both eyes glowing.
There were accountants and artists, pandemic thoughts
With tidy shirts and untied tie knots.
Tireless chatting, fighting, even laughing,
So many people pushing each other and squatting.
Everyone trying to stand above the rest:
Yet the ones who make it, are not always the best.
One further step I took towards the water,
One further step I took towards my fate.
So I grabbed my pen and scrabbled on the jotter:
“I wish I told you why I left, now it’s too late.”
The instant after the boat was crossing the river.
For every row he stroke I felt a shiver.
He dropped me in a desert without sun,
Allowed me to survive, not to run.
Those who are old the future can see and touch,
For they have tasted of the past so much.
I grew old on this bed, years passed by
Without even being able to say Goodbye.
Yet I felt you every evening, you held my hand,
I wish I could wake up, I wish I could stand.
I will tell you when will come the day:
“I left then because now I came back to stay.”
January 2017