it hurts yet I cannot stop it
I trick myself into believing
another one won’t hurt my living
another step to the bottomless pit
I pray I can keep far away
the spirits feasting on my flesh
they carve my sins each day afresh
yet prayers don’t keep them at bay
the heavy weight pressing my chest
gets heavier each day and night
each time I swear that I will fight
but I give up at the first test
each night I go to sleep with fears
each morning I wake up with hope
that I don’t slip down on the slope
which I’ve been slipping on for years
today I quit you and your gods
there’s nothing you have that I want
this false belief turns my mind blunt
I do renounce it by all odds
6th July 2020